You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
