You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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