She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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