It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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