i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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