32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
