Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
