you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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