Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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