Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity

(1-209): View more from California

nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

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(940): View more from Texas

I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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(937): View more from Ohio

just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings

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