I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When are your genitals available?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
