it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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