I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize