Can i not drive my cunt home
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
