i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
