Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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