She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
