I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
