why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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