my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
