Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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