I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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