Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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