My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
