Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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