The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
