It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
