I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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