If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
