I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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