you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
