Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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