Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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