Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
