she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
