Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
