i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Randomize
