she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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