how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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