Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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