Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
