Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
