if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
