ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
