If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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