TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?