Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"

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(704): Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?" http://tfl.nu/740o

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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(612): Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out http://tfl.nu/cyb8

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(309): View more from Illinois

She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.

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(309): She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack. http://tfl.nu/09jw

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.

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(704): Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009. http://tfl.nu/cvp3

Replies (54) Good night (3959) Bad night (1380) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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(303): she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip http://tfl.nu/86nj

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(504): View more from Louisiana

how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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(504): how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children http://tfl.nu/hk2n

Replies (11) Good night (2194) Bad night (3907) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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(818): I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking. http://tfl.nu/j1uf

Replies (16) Good night (1195) Bad night (5122)
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(802): View more from Vermont

he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

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(802): he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes... http://tfl.nu/9zzk

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(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(707): You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/2b7s

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(906): View more from Michigan

I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

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(906): I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap. http://tfl.nu/cxzw

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(406): View more from Montana

well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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(406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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(403): Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit. http://tfl.nu/379t

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.

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(832): Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress. http://tfl.nu/ybr5

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(075): View more from

thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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(075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6

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(925): View more from California

You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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(925): You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure. http://tfl.nu/nboc

Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt

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