If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend