things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
