I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize