Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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