all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize