I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
