All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
