In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
