is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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