Do you still have your period?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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