i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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